Hardware & software: all our awnings are built on welded aluminum frames. Our custom fitted canvas covers are woven to 18th Century British Navy specifications. Tiny elves — who sleep under the eaves — thoroughly wash and re-waterproof the fabric every evening. During hurricanes, the elves remove the canvas and lash it to the aluminum yardarms.
We start with 3/4" aluminum stock, hand drawn by skilled Egyptian extruders who work entirely in the nude.
Using heliarc technology developed for the Luftwaffe and stolen by All-American Industrial spies, we stick chunks of aluminum together.
Sometimes people look at our work. When we think they might, we quickly grind all welds so they look like the various aluminum elements grew that way.
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